


Doomed From The Start

by petzawentz



Category: Cobra Starship, Gym Class Heroes
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Physical Abuse, Rape, Recovery, happy ending though!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 09:36:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5702947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petzawentz/pseuds/petzawentz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Gabe meets Lucas, he's smitten almost instantly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doomed From The Start

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kandakicksass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kandakicksass/gifts).



> For [Kandakicksass](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kandakicksass) (as always lmao) because this whole thing was her fucking idea and then i stole it or smth idk anyway heres ur fic

The first time Gabe meets Lucas, he’s smitten almost instantly.

Lucas is funny, has these absolutely _gorgeous_ green eyes, speaks fluent Spanish, and can dish out as much shit as Gabe gives him, and honestly, he’s just amazing. He’s also taller than Gabe is, and if that reminds Gabe of a certain someone, and makes him like Lucas even more, then he can’t really be blamed.

They become friends almost immediately, and within two weeks of knowing each other, and almost daily texting, and meeting up for movie nights four times, Gabe is introducing Lucas -who likes to be called Luke- to his friends. He’s a hit, and everyone adores him just as much as Gabe does.

After nearly two months of friendship, Gabe finds out that, as easygoing and quick to laugh as Luke is, he’s just as -if not more- fiery in bed, and he’s so rough in all the right ways, and leaves bruises in just the right places, that if Gabe weren’t already sold, he most definitely would have been after that.

When Gabe and Lucas start telling people they’ve gotten together, they’re met with various responses. Ones like, “Fucking finally!”, “Good luck Luke, Gabe’s a handful”, “You’re gonna try and get _Gabe_ to settle down? Good luck!” and ones that kind of stung, like “Don’t fuck this up Gabriel.”, “Gabe, don’t you _dare_ hurt this one.” and “Luke, if he starts to act like an asshole, just tell me, okay?” 

They’re mostly jokes, though Gabe still doesn’t get why everyone assumes he’s the one that would wind up hurting _Luke_ , and he doesn’t get why no one is saying anything to Luke, since they’re _his_ friends in the first place, shouldn’t they be worried about _his_ wellbeing? 

Regardless, he takes the words to heart, and he tells himself he’s going to be exactly what Luke wants, he’s going to be everything he needs, and he’s _definitely_ not going to chase Luke away.

Everyone can go _suck it_ as far as he’s concerned.

\---

The first month or so of dating is great. The sex is _amazing_. Luke is sweet, and their banter is just as good as it was when they weren’t dating. Everything is great, and when Luke starts saying things like, “Really? You’re how old and you watch cartoons?” or starts complaining about him messing around with any sort of instrument when he’s over, Gabe doesn’t put up a fight, and fixes whatever it is he’s doing to make Luke happy.

A couple months after that, Luke asks Gabe to move in with him. At first, Gabe is hesitant, because he likes his apartment, and he likes having the freedom he has at his own place, but then, there’s a little voice inside his head that tells him to “ _make Luke happy! Make him happy!_ ” so he tells himself to grow up, and says yes.

After Gabe moves in, Luke doesn’t participate in their play-fights as much anymore, and if Gabe laughs too loudly at something, or talks on the phone a little too excitedly, he usually says something along the lines of “Jesus babe, could you maybe tone it down a bit?” or “Do you always have to be so damn _loud_?!” and Gabe’s kind of hurt for a little bit, because _loud_ is kind of his thing when he’s on stage, or around fans. He didn’t think he was that loud anywhere else. But, then he figures, Luke has an actual like, normal life, right? All his friends have normal lives, and he doesn’t make a living off of being loud and making people scream, so maybe his definition of quiet, and Gabe’s definition of quiet are two different things.

So, Gabe makes a conscious effort to talk quieter, and even keep his laugh quieter. Luke doesn’t say anything about it anymore, so he figures he must be making him happy.

\---

About three months after Gabe and Luke have been living together, Gabe’s grown noticeably quieter, keeps his phone conversations to a minimal, and texts as much as possible. His conversations are shorter that way, because Luke doesn’t like when Gabe pays too much attention to his phone, but he figures that’s okay, because he doesn’t need to spend all that time on technology, and Luke’s definitely more important than having a conversation with Pete over where to get the best tacos in LA, or even a conversation with Vicky about which breed of dogs is the best.

His boyfriend takes priority, because if he doesn’t, he gets _upset_ , and Gabe _can’t_ make him upset, because then he might decide Gabe isn’t good enough for him, and if Luke decides Gabe isn’t good enough for him, then everyone will have been right.

Another thing Luke doesn’t like, is when Gabe doesn’t want to have sex. He’s not _mean_ about it, and if Gabe says no, he’ll leave him alone.

Which is the problem.

He’ll get mad, and he’ll _say_ things, like “Come on Gabe, I’ve had a long day, and sex is such a good way to get me relaxed!” And if Gabe continues to say no, he’ll say something like, “What the fuck, do you even care?” and he’ll go watch TV, then sleep in the guest room. He won’t let Gabe talk to him, or even let him apologize until the next morning, and he’ll leave Gabe _alone_.

And Gabe hates being alone. It leaves him with time to _think_ , and Gabe hates when he has time to think. It brings up everything he tries to forget, so when Luke is angry, angry enough to leave Gabe alone, Gabe tries to seem eager to have sex with him. He plays it up, and maybe it’s a little twisted, how he lays in bed while Luke’s fucking him, and tries to think about anything else, but the alternative is being alone, so Gabe deals.

It’s not like he’s never acted for someone else’s enjoyment before anyway.

\---

The first time Gabe and Luke have an actual fight, it’s because Luke doesn’t want him to go to Travie’s birthday party, that Gabe’s told him at _least_ five times in the last week that they’re invited to. Gabe blinks at him, pants half on, in confusion and disbelief.

“You don’t want to go to one of my best friends’ birthday party?” Luke rolls his eyes.

“No Gabe, and I don’t want _you_ to go either.” Gabe finishes pulling his pants up, but doesn’t button them.

“But-That doesn’t even make any _sense_ Luke! I’ve known him for years, of course I’m going to go to his birthday party! I mean, you don’t have to go, but I’m pretty sure everyone will think I’m dead or something if _I_ don’t go.” Luke doesn’t say anything for a moment, then shrugs.

“Well I don’t care, I don’t want you to go, so you’re not going.” Gabe squints his eyes, and crosses his arms.

“Why the _fuck_ not?!”

Luke shrugs, and moves closer to Gabe. “I don’t like Travie, and I don’t want you near him.”

Gabe’s mouth falls open. “What the fuck? Since when?”

“Since he wants to fucking take you away from me! And I see how you look at him Gabe! Like you want him to fuck your brains out!”

“When the hell has Travie _ever_ wanted to ‘take me away’ from you? I’m not something to take away, and what the fuck do you mean by ‘how I look at him’?! I don’t want-You’re fucking delusional, and I’m going to the fucking party, with or without you.”

Luke scowls, and reaches out, grabbing Gabe’s arm. “Fine. You can go to the fucking party, but I want to fuck you first.” Gabe wrinkles his nose.

“Why? Dude no, we can’t have sex before I go, I won’t be able to _walk_.” 

“That’s the fucking _point_. I want everyone, and especially _him_ , to see what I do to you.”

Gabe shakes his head, confusion clear on his face. “What the fuck, Luke? Travie doesn’t like me that way, you’re just seeing things that aren’t there! Now come on, I’m going to be late!” Luke shrugs again, looking indifferent.

“Then I guess you don’t go.” Gabe’s mouth falls open again, then he clenches his jaw, rips his arm from Luke’s grip, and finishes buttoning his pants, then grabs his phone.

“I’m fucking going Luke, I haven’t gone out with any of my friends in _weeks_ , and I don’t give a shit about your misdirected jealousy, I’m hanging out with Travie.” He pushes past Luke, who’s got a shocked look on his face, and is slipping his shoes on, when there’s suddenly a painful grip on his left forearm. The next moment, his arm is being jerked back, and he’s crying out as his back is slammed harshly into the wall. Gabe looks up at Luke, who’s got him pinned to the wall, and pushes at him, grunting from the jolt of pain that sends down his back.

“What the _fuck_ Luke?! You’re fucking hurting me, let go!” Luke’s grip on his arm tightens, and he moves wordlessly away from the wall, and starts pulling Gabe back to the bedroom. Gabe pulls at his arm, his stomach clenching in fear as he yells at Luke. When they’re in the bedroom, Luke throws him on the bed, and begins unbuttoning Gabe’s jeans. When Gabe realizes what’s going on, he starts kicking, and begging Luke to stop. After he lands a good kick to Luke’s side, Luke reaches up, and slaps him.

“Fucking _christ_ Gabe, do you have to be so fucking difficult all the time!? All I asked for was some _attention_ before you leave, because I know that when you go out with Pete, and William, and fucking _Travie_ , you don’t come home until I’m asleep! You leave me here, all by myself, and you don’t ever call either, to tell me what’s going on, because you’re a shitty goddamn boyfriend!”

The slap, and Luke’s words, leave Gabe reeling, and after Luke’s outburst, he finds himself shaking as he tries to fight back tears. “I-I’m sorry I-I didn’t-I never realized h-how you f-felt I-I’m sorry I try-I _try_ to be a good boyfriend.” He brings the hand that had been cradling his cheek to grip at Luke’s wrist. “Please don’t-you’re not going to leave me are you?” Luke shushes him, and brings a hand up to Gabe’s face, and he rubs soothingly at the place he’d hit.

“No baby, I’m not going to leave you. And you _can_ still go to Travie’s party, just let me fuck you before you go, okay?” Gabe inhales shakily, but nods, and smiles softly when Luke says, “That’s good baby, it’ll be so good for you too, you know I always make it good for you, even when I don’t have to.” Gabe nods again, and this time, lifts his hips when Luke starts pulling his jeans off.

The sex is rough, like it always is, and leaves Gabe sore, just like it always does. This time though, Luke pushes Gabe’s arms above his head with more force than necessary, using a hard grip on his forearms, and instead of his bruising thrusts feeling good, they’re a harsh punishment. Luke doesn’t acknowledge Gabe’s pained cries, just lets out forceful grunts of ‘ _mine_ ’ and ‘ _fucking belong to **me**_ ’, but when he’s done, he kisses Gabe sweetly on the lips, and Gabe can pretend it’s an apology.

When Luke is finally spent, and lying in bed next to Gabe, panting, he runs a hand down Gabe’s side, and squeezes his hip lightly. “Thank you baby, you’re always so good for me. You can go to Travie’s party now if you want to. Behave.” Gabe nods, heart beating wildly as he presses a soft kiss to Luke’s cheek, then slowly gets himself dressed again. Ten minutes later, he’s walking out the door, now wearing a jacket to cover the bruises on his forearms, -as well as some makeup leftover from a music video or some shit on his cheek to make the swelling less noticeable-, and wincing as he tries to walk semi-normally to his car.

When he gets to the party, everyone gives him shit for being late, but he just makes a quip about a queen never being _late_ , and halfheartedly grabs a drink, before finding somewhere to gingerly sit down.

After he’s seated, Pete comes over to him, and grins slyly. “So, I seen you were walking kinda funny Gabey, any special reason for that?” Gabe rolls his eyes, and flips Pete off.

“Yeah, I started doing yoga again, asshole.” Pete laughs loudly, and Gabe winces slightly, before realizing Luke isn’t there to yell, then relaxes again.

“It involves stretching, and it involves an asshole, that’s for sure.” Gabe grins at him, and rolls his eyes again, but doesn’t reply. The subject changes from there, and Gabe finally relaxes more, until he’s making jokes and laughing -though not as loudly as he usually does around his friends- and he feels on balance again.

He’s also able to go the entire night without any questions as to why he’s wearing a jacket in LA in June, or why his cheek is slightly puffed up, which is good. There’s a close call when he first sees Travie, but all Travie does is give him an odd look, then must chalk it up to weird lighting or something, because he doesn’t say anything, and pulls Gabe into a hug. It hurts a little, because Travie’s hugs are _tight_ , especially when he hasn’t seen Gabe in a while, and Gabe’s somehow worried that Luke will _know_ , but Travie either doesn’t notice, or just chooses not to say anything, and either way, Gabe’s grateful.

\---

When Gabe leaves the party -much earlier than he normally would- he’s in a good mood, that lasts until he’s about five minutes from home. Then, his chest clenches with nervousness, and the pain in his arms seems to get much more prominent, and by the time he’s pulled into their little garage, he’s shaking so bad, it takes him five minutes before he even unbuckles.

The next thing he realizes, is that he’s been sitting in the dark, in his car, for nearly ten minutes. He curses under his breath and brings his shaking hands up to rub at his face, before taking a deep breath and laughing humorlessly at himself.

“God _damn_ it Gabe, get your fucking shit together, jesus.” He sits for another two minutes, then, growing frustrated with himself, finally gets out of the car and heads inside.

When he gets inside, all the lights are off, and even though he’d known that Luke would be in bed, he still breathes a sigh of relief, and goes to the kitchen. He has no idea why he’s going to the kitchen, just that he doesn’t want to go to bed yet.

Gabe doesn’t know how long he stays out in the kitchen, a glass of water in his hand as he stares at nothing. Finally, he shakes himself, and dumps his water in the sink, then heads towards the bedroom. When he reaches it, he quietly strips off his clothes, but instead of just getting into bed naked like he normally would, he grabs an old t-shirt and sweatpants, before climbing into bed beside Luke.

He doesn’t think Luke’s awake, but then there’s a hand on his hip, and he startles. Luke starts chuckling quietly, and Gabe forces out a halfhearted laugh with him.

“You’re back early Gabe, usually you aren’t back until I’m asleep. What’s up?” Gabe shrugs a shoulder, still lying stiff.

“Dunno, just didn’t feel like staying any longer.”

Luke hums, then uses his grip on Gabe’s hip to pull him back towards him. “Mmm, finally growing up?”

Gabe lets Luke pull him back, until they’re pressed together, then quietly speaks. “I don’t know-I just-you didn’t seem very happy before I left and I just didn’t want you to…” He trails off, and Luke makes a pleased noise.

“Aw babe, you’re right, I wasn’t very happy before, and that’s why I had to take it out on you. If you’d just be reasonable, and didn’t hang out with anyone trying to take you, then that wouldn’t happen. You’re lucky I just did that, when I could’ve just left you.”

Gabe feels his eyes getting wet, and he blinks hard to stop them. “I’ll try harder Luke, I promise I can be what you want, and I won’t-no one’s going to take me from you, just don’t-don’t leave me, _please_.”

Luke doesn’t reply, just hums, and Gabe takes that as the end of the conversation, and tries to go to sleep. Of course, he doesn’t go to sleep for hours, but when he finally does, it’s restless, and to thoughts of how he can be _better_ for Luke, because he _knows_ he can be better, and he will be.

\---

Life continues like that, Gabe being quiet when Luke wants him to be, making sure that if he goes out, he’s back at a reasonable hour, and not arguing. Luke seems to be happier with him, and he’s even started giving Gabe random soft, and slow kisses again; something that had stopped when he’d started getting mad about everything Gabe couldn’t do right.

Of course, Luke still gets angry sometimes, because, as much as Gabe is _trying_ , he always screws something up. At first he would just yell, which was bad enough, but then he started ignoring Gabe. After that, he threw a cup at Gabe once. The throwing doesn’t last -for whatever reason, Gabe has no clue, but he’s glad anyway- but it gives way to slaps, and hits. They hurt of course, though not as much as the disappointed look on Luke’s face whenever he has to correct one of Gabe’s mistakes. After a couple weeks, Gabe begins to realize that he can’t wear t-shirts anymore if he goes out. 

He tried once, on a trip to the grocery store, but the woman that had been his cashier had given him a concerned look, and asked him softly if everything was alright at home, and Gabe had nearly tripped over his own words trying to reassure her that nothing was wrong. It had scared him though, because Luke wasn’t _abusing_ him, god no. He was helping Gabe. Sure, Gabe knew what it _looked_ like, but no, it wasn’t abuse. Luke _loved_ him, and he’d never broken any bones, and anytime he did something to Gabe, he explained why. He would _never_ do anything to Gabe without a reason, Gabe was positive.

So, hoodies and long sleeved shirts became a permanent fixture.

No one had really taken notice right away, -being _Gabe Saporta_ comes with its perks- but then it gets to be August, and when he goes anywhere, he’s immediately surrounded by people wearing shorts and tank tops, or just their swimsuits, or really, anything _but_ hoodies and sweaters and long flannels, so people begin to ask questions. He’s able to fend off the questions pretty easily, which he’s equal parts relieved and -strangely- disappointed by.

He has _no reason_ to be disappointed, because if someone _notices_ , then they’ll get mad at him, and probably confront Luke, and then _Luke_ will get mad at him, and then he might finally reach his breaking point, and _leave_.

That absolutely _can not_ happen, so after he’s over at Pete’s one day, and Pete catches a glimpse of a really difficult to hide bruise on his collarbone, Gabe decides to keep his interactions with anyone to a minimum.

Gabe doesn’t think Pete suspects anything, because he knows about Gabe’s past adventures in the bedroom, so he knows that bruises are definitely something that’s happened to Gabe before. Again, Gabe’s relieved, but there’s also that nagging piece of him that won’t go away that says “ _please notice please ask please help_ ” and Gabe firmly tells that part to _fuck off_.

Luke is his boyfriend, and everything he’s done and is doing is because he loves Gabe, and is helping him act like the boyfriend he _should_ be, and Gabe’s incredibly lucky that Luke loves him enough to have the patience he has with him.

\---

The first couple weeks after Gabe decides he’s not going to venture out much anymore, it's hard.

Gabe has always been a social person, save for the occasional bad night, so to stay in all the time, instead of meeting up with any of his friends, even just to talk, is almost torture. It’s a little better on days when Luke doesn't have to work late though, because Gabe’s always home and waiting for him now, and that makes Luke happy.

Gabe knows it does, because Luke had told him one night, had whispered into his ear how happy he was with Gabe, how much Gabe had improved, and what a _perfect_ boyfriend he was being, all while holding his hips roughly as he fucked him.

It was the best sex they’d had in awhile, and Gabe had actually felt _good_ afterwards, in a way he hadn’t since their first month of dating.

Then, there were the days where Luke didn’t go into work at all.

Those days could range from really good days, where they did nothing but curl up and watch movies, and eat junk food, or _really_ bad days, where the entire time Luke was home, he’d be in a horrible mood, and complain about every little thing Gabe did, until he’d finally snap and start yelling. The yelling was the biggest thing Gabe dreaded, because it was _always_ the prelude to Luke hurting him.

If Luke went quiet, and ignored Gabe, then it could usually be fixed by a couple hours of complete silence, or Gabe making him some sort of meal. At first, Gabe had refused to make Luke meals, because Luke ate _meat_ , and Gabe wanted absolutely no part in preparing meat, even for someone else.

Luke hadn’t liked that, and the five little crescent shaped marks he left on Gabe’s shoulder had bled, and eventually bruised until they stood out like a sore thumb.

Gabe had deserved those though, because weren’t relationships supposed to be all about sacrifices? Gabe sacrificed that little bit of his own moral security, and that had to be the right thing to do, because Luke had smiled at him when he agreed to quit being so stubborn, and if Luke was happy, then Gabe must have been doing something right. 

Right?

\---

It feels like time passes slowly, due to all the yelling and the _corrections_ , but before Gabe knows it, he hasn’t seen any of his friends in almost three months, and he hasn’t left the house for anything other than absolutely vital errands in almost as long.

He feels lonely at times, and definitely not like himself, but every time he goes a couple days or more without making Luke angry, he tells himself it’s absolutely worth it, and that he must be making progress.

Gabe can’t hide away forever though, and that’s made plainly clear when he receives a text from William, telling him ‘party @ my place tmrw, if u dont come im sending pete 2 get u’. There’s a string of emojis following it, ranging from party balloons to waves, and Gabe smiles fondly when he reads it, before he realizes exactly what it means, and his stomach tightens.

 _Waves_ mean swimming, and swimming means swimsuits. Swimsuits mean most of his body is going to be on show.

Gabe goes into the bathroom, and stares at his reflection. He’s wearing a tank top and shorts, because he’s at home, and he can see everything.

There’s a finally fading bruise on his bicep from where Luke had gripped it, a mark on his cheek from where Luke had slapped him, various scratches from Luke being _tooroughtoorough_ during sex, and that wasn’t counting what was more than likely on his stomach, and not to mention his back. There’s also a large, nasty looking bruise on his side, from where Luke pushed Gabe into a chair. It’s just finally starting to heal, and it’s painful as hell.

His heart sinks, because the party is _tomorrow_ , and even if -by some miracle- Gabe doesn’t mess up somehow between now and then, he’s going to be nowhere healed enough to even consider going swimming.

With a sigh, he leaves the bathroom.

He’ll have to text William back, and tell him he can’t make it for some reason or another, and everyone will be disappointed, but Gabe hopes no one will be _too_ mad. The thought stops Gabe in his tracks and suddenly, he’s worried that if he doesn’t go, Pete will _actually_ come to his house. It’s something Pete would actually do, and he’ll be pissed, and what if _he_ decides to hurt Gabe too?

Gabe’s seen Pete throw a punch, and he’d _been_ punched by Pete before, but usually after drinks and a bad week, and more than a little taunting. He doesn’t know if he could handle the reason for the hit being Gabe fucking up at being a friend, as well as a boyfriend.

Gabe distantly realizes his hands are shaking, and he sets the pan he’s holding down, before resting his hands on the counter and trying to breathe steadily. It proves more difficult than he thought it would be, so by the time he’s sufficiently calmed down, it’s been nearly ten minutes, and his chest hurts.

When Gabe finally feels like he has a little control, he takes a deep breath, and returns to making supper for Luke. If supper isn’t ready by the time Luke gets home, then Gabe _definitely_ won’t be going to William’s party.

As he’s cooking, he tries to _think_. Maybe, he can go, and not swim? It’s completely unlike him, but maybe if he pretends he’s sick or something, everyone will let it slide.

By the time Luke gets home, supper is nearly ready, and Luke seems to be in a better mood than usual, if the way he comes up behind Gabe and kisses his neck softly is any indicator.

“Hey baby, how was your day?” Gabe smiles, -he loves when Luke is in this kind of mood- and shrugs. 

“It was alright, what about yours?” Luke squeezes his hip, before moving to the filled coffee pot.

“It was good for once, my break was long enough for me to go get lunch, and I actually got something done today, so I’m happy.” Gabe switches the stove off, and goes to grab some forks.

“That’s good babe, are you hungry then? I made enchiladas, but if you don’t want them I can just-”

“Nah it’s fine, I’m still hungry, and I love your cooking.” Gabe flushes slightly, and grins at Luke.

“Okay, can you grab the plates then? I figured maybe we could sit in the living room and watch a movie while we eat? If you wanted to?” Luke smiles back and gets the plates, before wrapping an arm around Gabe’s waist, and pulling him close.

“Of course we can, that sounds like a great idea.”

For the first time in a while, they have a nice meal, and even manage to have a conversation during it. It’s nice, and Gabe wishes it could always be like this.

It could be, if he could just _stop screwing up_.

He sighs, and Luke gives him a quizzical look.

“You alright babe?” Gabe looks up, and nods quickly.

“Yeah no, I’m fine! I just um. I have a question?”

Luke smiles, and brings a hand over to rest on the back of Gabe’s neck. “Go ahead, you don’t need to be nervous about asking me anything.” Gabe nods, and tries to relax.

“I know, I know that. So um. William’s having a party tomorrow, and he invited me, and I was wondering if I could go?” Luke’s quiet, just long enough for Gabe to get nervous, before he finally replies.

“Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to go. Isn’t William leaving to go on tour pretty soon?” Gabe ignores the excited jump his stomach does, and nods.

“Yeah um-it’s The Academy Is… reunion, he’s pretty excited.” Luke’s nodding slowly, then he hums softly.

“I think it’d be okay to go, you’ve stayed in a lot lately, and I’m sure William would be pretty upset if he didn’t get to see you before he left.”

Gabe’s eyes are wide, but he’s nodding emphatically. “Yeah that’s what I was thinking too, and I haven't really seen anyone in a while, so it’d just be a good idea to go I think.” Luke nods, and sets his fork down on his empty plate.

“Alright, you can go, I’d come with but I have to work.”

Gabe grins, and sets his own fork down, before closing the space between himself and Luke, and resting his hand on Luke’s thigh. “Thank you so much baby,” he presses a kiss to the side of Luke’s neck, and smiles up at Luke, who has an amused smirk on his face. “what do you want? I’ll do whatever you want.”

Luke raises an eyebrow. “What, as a reward?” Gabe shakes his head.

“No, a thank you.” Luke rests a hand on Gabe’s head, and starts directing Gabe so he’s sliding off the couch.

“Good boy, I want you to suck me off.” Gabe nods, and moves so he’s kneeling between Luke’s legs, determined to make this as good for his boyfriend as he can.

When Gabe finally gets Luke’s cock in his mouth, he groans. He hates admitting it, but giving head is one of his favorite things to do, and Luke’s usually too angry at him when they’re having sex for him to get a chance. It’s fucking _good_ , and before Luke comes, Gabe already has, without even getting his own cock out of his pants.

After Luke finishes, he pulls Gabe off, and up into his lap, and when he sees Gabe’s already come, he smiles fondly and fixes his grip so he can stand up, and carry a blissed out Gabe to bed.

They both fall asleep happy and content for the first time in a while, and it’s nice.

\---

The next day goes by without incident, and when Gabe leaves for William’s place, he’s wearing jeans and a flannel, but he’s happy and feels lighter than he has in months. He’s got his excuses all lined up as to why he isn’t going in the water, and he’s excited about seeing his friends.

When he arrives, he goes into the house first, and is greeted by multiple cheers, and several hugs. He barely notices how much the hugs hurt, because he’s so happy to see everyone and he’s focused more on the warmth spreading through him. The next thing he knows, he’s being pulled into the kitchen and handed a drink, and then there’s Pete.

Pete pulls him into what’s possibly the tightest hug Gabe’s ever been given, and when he pulls away, Gabe wants to cling _so badly_. He doesn’t though, because that’s _stupid_ and instead, he smiles at Pete.

“Hey man, what-” He doesn’t get to finish, because Pete hits his shoulder -lightly, thank _fuck_ \- and glares at him.

“Where the _hell_ have you been?” Gabe blinks, then shifts nervously.

“I-just at home, and y’know, busy with like. Stuff.”

Pete sighs. “Stuff.” Gabe nods.

“Yep, stuff.” Pete’s quiet for a moment, then he shakes his head, a small smile on his face.

“Shit, you meet a man and then suddenly you’re too good for me. I shoulda seen this coming.” Gabe laughs, feeling relieved, and rests a hand on Pete’s shoulder, steering him out of the kitchen and towards the patio.

“Yep you know me, I’ve got my man and my TV shows, what more do I need?” Pete laughs, and slings an arm around his waist as they head out to the beach. Pete tugs on Gabe’s shirt, and gives him a look.

“So dude, I can’t help but notice you’re not exactly dressed for swimming.” Gabe shrugs, and looks apologetic.

“Yeah man, I’ve had a sore throat the last few days and Luke made me promise not to go in the water.” Pete nods understandingly, and pats Gabe on the back before pulling away.

“That’s rough, but hey, Travie and Patrick aren’t going in the water today either so you can come hang out with them.” Gabe feels his heart skip a beat at the mention of Travie, but then he sighs, relieved, and gladly follows Pete.

When they catch sight of Patrick and Travie, they’re both yelling at something, which turns out to be Brendon being chased by Spencer, who’s holding a squirt gun. When Pete and Gabe reach the other two, Patrick turns to them, still laughing.

“Hey! Look who finally showed up!” He goes in for a hug, and Gabe’s grateful that Patrick doesn’t hug anywhere near as hard as Pete. The bruise on his side is still healing, and it hurts like a fucking _bitch_. He pulls away and smiles at Patrick, before turning his grin to Travie.

“Good to see you guys, what’s going on with Spence and Beebs?” Travie laughs, shaking his head as he sits down on a beach chair.

“It involves dick jokes, y’know, the usual.” Gabe snorts, and carefully sits in one of the chairs near Travie.

“So everything’s normal then?” Travie smirks, and takes a drink. Gabe turns to look at the rest of the beach, trying to pick William out. After a few minutes, he gives up, and instead just stares at the ocean. It’s been way too long since he’s managed to go to the beach, and he misses it. He’s in the middle of trying to figure out the chances of getting Luke to go to the beach with him someday, when he hears Travie clearing his throat.

Gabe looks up, startled, to find Travie smiling at him, though he looks concerned. “You alright man? You kinda spaced out there for a few minutes.” Gabe shakes his head, and sits up, leaning back in the chair and forcing a smile on his face.

“Nah I’m fine, was just watching everyone.” Travie raises an eyebrow, in a way that Gabe knows means he doesn’t believe Gabe’s bullshit.

“Right. That’s why you totally spaced out. You sure you’re okay dude? You seem….” He trails off, and bites his lip. There’s an odd sinking feeling in Gabe’s stomach, but he ignores it.

“Seriously Trav, I’m fine. Like I told Pete, I think I’m coming down with something though, so yeah, maybe I am a little out of it.” Travie nods, still looking like he doesn’t quite believe him, but he lets it go.

Gabe manages to change the subject, and pretty soon, any mention of Gabe acting weird is the farthest thing from either of their minds, and Gabe’s having a good time.

Then, like all things in Gabe’s life lately, something bad happens.

Gabe stands up, to go grab another drink from one of the many strategically placed coolers, when he’s hit by a vollyball. The ball makes direct contact with the bruise on his side, and Gabe must black out slightly from the pain, because the next thing he’s aware of, he’s lying on his back in the sand, and staring up at Travie and Sisky’s slightly panicked faces.

The next thing he’s aware of, is that Travie is unbuttoning his flannel, from the bottom, like he’s going to look at where the ball hit him. Gabe makes a panicked noise, and his hand flies out to grab at Travie’s.

“N-No don’t!” Travie shoots him an incredulous look.

“Don’t? Dude, you blacked out for like thirty seconds-what if you’ve got like, a broken rib or something?” Gabe shakes his head, and tries to push himself up, groaning in pain but managing to get himself into an upright position.

“No it’s fine I just-it hit just right and the wind got knocked out of me, I’m fine and I’m okay, just _stop_!” He accentuates the last word by smacking Travie’s hand -that he’d been using to help steady Gabe- away, and a second later he realizes he’s breathing like he’s just run a marathon. When he looks up at Travie, he’s got a slightly hurt look on his face, though he looks more concerned than anything. They hold eye contact for a moment, before Travie’s reaching his hand out again, and setting it on Gabe’s shoulder slowly.

“Gabe, you just got knocked to the ground by a volleyball, that was hit by _Sisky_. I really don’t think you’re _fine_.” Gabe shakes his head again, and lets out a shaky breath.

“It’s okay Travie, I’m serious. It must have hit just right or something, because I feel fine now.” Travie’s still looking at him dubiously, so Gabe tries to look reassuring. “Dude, I swear I’m fine. I’m just gonna go like, get a glass of water, okay?” He pushes himself up onto his feet, somehow managing to not look like he’s in pain, and spreads his arms when he’s upright. “See? A-okay. You can chill now mom.”

“Gabe-”

“I’m _fine_ Travie. Jesus christ, _calm down_.” He turns, and starts walking back towards the house. When he’s finally inside, he heads straight for the bathroom, locks the door firmly behind himself, and leans up against the wall. After a few minutes, and he no longer feels like he’s going to hyperventilate or cry, he leaves the room, and makes his way to the front door.

There’s no way he can handle seeing Travie again, and more than likely everyone else knows what’s happened -thanks Sisky- so he figures he better leave while things are still calm.

He’s almost past the kitchen, when he hears a familiar voice yelling his name. When he turns around, it’s William, and Gabe puts on a smile.

“Bilvy! Long time no see!” William smiles back, and throws his arms around Gabe’s neck. All Gabe can think is thank god William’s as tall as him, he doesn’t need to hug around Gabe’s middle.

“Yeah, and whose fault is that? I hear from Pete you don’t feel well though, is that why you’re headed out?” Gabe nods, looking apologetic.

“Yeah I’m sorry, but I just really don’t feel too hot. I hope you guys have fun on tour though, I’ll try and make it out to a show, alright?” William looks sympathetic, and kisses Gabe’s cheek.

“Thanks man, we’re excited! Whenever you can make it out you do it, and take care of yourself alright? We all miss you y’know.” Gabe’s heart constricts, and he nods.

“I miss you guys too, but hey, I better get going before I feel any worse. Love you Bill.” William grins and pats his shoulder before pulling away.

“Love you too Gabe, hope you feel better soon.” Gabe nods, and then he’s out the door, and in his car.

He makes it five miles before he has to pull over, because he can’t see around his fucking _stupid_ tears.

He can’t even go to a fucking friends house anymore without fucking that up too.

It takes another ten minutes before he can pull back onto the road without being scared that he’s going to crash and kill someone, and as he gets closer to home, he dreads it more and more. He has no idea _why_ , but the dread is still there, heavy and disgusting in his gut, and it’s so _familiar_ and he wants it gone more than he wants anything.

\---

When Luke gets home from work two hours after Gabe’s been home, Gabe has supper ready, and is laying on the couch, wrapped up in his favorite blankets, and watching Criminal Minds reruns.

Luke comes into the room, and raises an eyebrow at Gabe. “Hey what’s up? Are you alright?” Gabe nods, but otherwise doesn’t reply, and Luke tries again. “Did you go to William’s today?” After another nod from Gabe, he sighs. “And? What, did someone die? What’s your fucking problem?” Gabe winces, and finally turns to look at him.

“It was great, I got hit with a ball though, so I’m a little sore. Sorry.” Luke stares at him for a moment, before he nods.

“I’m sorry you got hit, did you make supper?” Gabe nods again.

“Yeah, it’s still in the oven.” Luke blinks, then goes and sits next to Gabe on the couch.

“Hey, baby?” Gabe sighs, and looks over at him.

“What?”

“Gimme a kiss? I’m sorry for being so short with you.” Gabe looks at him, surprised, then a small smile appears on his face, and he leans over to give Luke a kiss.

“It’s alright, my side still hurts so I’m a little crabby too. I’m sorry too.” Luke smiles back, and sits back against the couch.

“So, who was all there? Pete and co?” Gabe laughs.

“Yeah, Pete and Patrick were there, William and the rest of tai were there too. I spent most of the day with Travie though. Neither of us were swimming and-”

“Wait, _Travie_?” Gabe stops, and looks at Luke, and shrugs.

“Uh, yeah? He was there.” Luke huffs in frustration.

“Gabe, you _know_ how I feel about him.”

“Travie and I have been friends for _years_ Luke, I don’t get what the big deal is!” Luke’s jaw sets angrily.

“The ‘big deal’, is that he _likes_ you, and I hate that you still insist on hanging out with someone who wants to take you away from me!”

Gabe takes a deep breath, and levels Luke with an calm glare. “Look, I get that you think he likes me, but seriously, I don’t think he does, and even if he _did_ , he’s too good of a person to try anything while I’m in a relationship! You’re just being stupid.” He huffs, and turns his attention back to the TV. 

After a few seconds of silence, he feels Luke moving, and when he turns to see what he’s doing, there’s suddenly a hand making contact with his cheek, and the next thing he knows, is he’s crying out as Luke grips his wrist _hard_.

“Do you always have to be such a little _bitch_ , Gabe?” He moves up onto his knees, so he’s hovering over Gabe, and reaches out, so he can smack Gabe again. “I ask you to do one thing, and can you do it? No!” He begins using his grip on Gabe’s wrist to pull him upright, and ignores Gabe’s pained cries.

“Luke I-I’m-”

“You just _have_ to get your way, don’t you? Can’t ever put someone else’s feelings before yours, right?” Gabe shakes his head, and tries to pull his arm away.

“No Luke I don’t-I-” Luke lets out an angry growl, and pushes himself up off of the couch, using his grip on Gabe to pull him up.

“You don’t _what_?! Don’t love me? Don’t take me seriously? Believe me, it’s obvious.”

“Luke _please-_.”

 

Luke’s face twists in anger, and he pushes, so Gabe’s already unsteady balance pushes him onto the floor, sprawled on his back. “Shut the _fuck up_ Gabe, I’m so sick of you and your childishness,” He aims a kick at Gabe’s thigh, and tries again when Gabe manages to pull his leg away. Before Luke can make contact, Gabe is able to pull himself up, and moves behind the couch.

“ _Please_ don’t! I don’t-Luke you’re _scaring me_.” Luke clenches his fists, and glares silently at Gabe for a moment, before letting out a yell and kicking the couch. Gabe jumps back, eyes wide.

“I’m fucking _scaring_ you?! Fucking good! Maybe if I scare you, you’ll finally listen to me!” He picks up a mug from where it’s resting on the coffee table, and throws it at Gabe. Gabe moves, but the mug still hits his shoulder, before falling to the floor and breaking. Gabe whimpers, taking a moment to try and step away from the broken pieces, then looks back up at Luke.

Luke stares back, then moves so he’s rounding the couch, headed towards Gabe. Gabe starts backing away, his arms held out protectively in front of him as he tries to keep distance between them.

“Luke please think about this, just calm down okay? Nothing happened betwee-”

“I _told you_ to shut the fuck _up_!”

Luke’s yelling now, and he lunges forward, managing to get a grip on Gabe’s shirt. Gabe lets out a startled shout, only to be silenced by Luke’s hand wrapping around his throat. Luke pushes Gabe back against the wall, unconcerned by Gabe’s struggling, and the horrified tears that had previously been unshed, but are now flowing freely down his cheeks.

The next several hours continue like that, with Luke yelling in Gabe’s face about how he _never listens_ and _can’t fucking grow up_ , all while he puts new bruises anywhere he can reach.

When he’s finally done, and has exhausted his voice and energy, he leaves Gabe curled on the floor, and with one last kick to Gabe’s side -Gabe spares a moment to acknowledge the irony- he goes to their bedroom, and for the first time, leaves Gabe _alone_.

It’s all fucked to hell, because _that_ ; Luke leaving him alone after he, he _beats_ him, that hurts worse than anything. Usually, once he’s calmed down, and gotten his anger out, he’ll hold Gabe, and tell him _it’s okay, it’s alright, I’m teaching you, you’ll do better next time_ and help clean him up.

This time though, there’s no gentle words to soothe over all the insults from the last several hours, no soft touch to remind him that all Luke’s doing is _helping_ , and all Gabe feels is an awful sort of hollowness, one that reminds him of all the worst things he’s ever experienced, -Pete’s suicide attempt, his mom leaving, his own addiction- all wrapped into one. This time, though, unlike all those times, there’s no one to pick him up.

After what he figures is twenty minutes, he finally begins to move, and manages to get himself on his feet. He passes by the bedroom quietly, praying that he doesn’t wake Luke up, and goes into the guest bathroom. When he catches sight of himself in the mirror, he feels tears welling up in his eyes again, even though he thought he’d cried all he could several hours ago.

Other times, when Luke had hit him, he’d restrained himself to some extent, and hadn’t touched Gabe anywhere from the neck up, not since before Travie’s birthday party. Now? Now there’s a solid ring of bruises around his neck, there are several already bluish bruises on his cheek, and there’s a slight swell on his forehead, from when Luke had gripped his hair and pushed him to the floor. Some part of Gabe wants to take his shirt off, and his sweatpants, to see what Luke left there too, but there’s bile in his throat already, and he’s just so _tired_ , he turns around, and leaves the room.

When he collapses onto the guest bed, he has a brief moment to thank god the sun isn’t coming up yet, before he slips into unconsciousness.

\---

When Gabe wakes up, he’s disoriented, and before he realizes what he’s doing, he’s sitting up in bed. Then he registers nothing but _pain_ , and it’s so bad he almost throws up. He somehow manages to sit completely still, until the urge has passed, and then he slowly and carefully gets out of bed. He looks at the clock on the nightstand, and breathes a sigh of relief when he sees it’s almost 9:30. Luke will have left for work over two hours ago, and Gabe’s never been more thankful for anything in his entire life.

He’s not entirely sure what’ll happen when Luke comes home, but there’s already a vague idea in his mind that involves some sort of meat, and then sex.

 _Sex_.

Gabe nearly sobs when he realizes that, Luke’s going to want to fuck him, and there’s no way Gabe can handle that right now. There’s no way his _body_ can handle that right now. He takes a minute to collect himself, then shakes his head.

He’ll be fine. Everything’s _fine_ , and he’ll find a way to hopefully deter Luke from anything that involves touching Gabe tonight at least. Hopefully.

With a sigh, Gabe makes his way to the kitchen -limping, because his right shin is sore as hell- and grabs a couple pain killers, before trying to find something to eat. He settles on some yogurt, even though it kills him to do so. Years of keeping to a strict vegan diet all thrown away because of some fucking bruises. He laughs briefly at his own patheticness, before throwing the rest of the yogurt cup away. 

Sighing, he pushes himself away from the counter, and goes to get dressed. He’s still dressed in the same clothes from last night, and his shirt and pants are both feeling slightly sticky in certain spots, and when he finally peels them off in front of a mirror, he has to look away.

There’s a large bruise from where the mug hit him, and on his arms -that he’s avoided looking at until now- there’s a number of bruises, some marks from Luke’s nails, and a deep scratch from where a piece of the mug had dug in. The bruise on his side is black in some places, but there’s also some newer looking bruising too, and there’s so much blue, and purple, and black, and red on his skin, he almost can’t believe it.

After several minutes of staring in -what, awe? Horror? He doesn’t even know anymore- he finally pulls himself away from the mirror, and cleans up some of the worse looking cuts, before he looks for some clothes. He finds a clean pair of sweatpants, and a loose fitting T-shirt, then after catching sight of himself in the mirror again, he throws on a large sweatshirt.

There’s no hiding the marks on his face, and he can still kind of see the ones on his neck, but it’s better than nothing, and he’s suddenly reminded why he doesn’t go out anymore.

He starts cleaning up, the pain medication seems to have kicked in, because he can move a little better now, and he turns the TV on, hoping to distract himself. It works, until he gets to the pieces of the mug Luke had broken last night. He lets himself grieve for a moment -the mug had a cute little cartoon snake on it, and had been a gift from Ryland a few years ago- then he continues cleaning it up, wincing when he gets to the part of the floor with blood on it, but he cleans it up quickly.

He gets so lost in his cleaning, that when there’s a loud knock on the front door, he jumps. He takes a second to roll his eyes at himself, before he goes to answer. When he opens it, Travie’s standing on the other side, a smile on his face, that quickly disappears when he catches sight of Gabe.

“Gabe what-”

Gabe interrupts him quickly, and smiles in a way he hopes is convincing. “Hey, what’s up Trav? What are you doing here?”

Travie gives him a confused look, and moves closer. “Just checking up on you, you left in a bit of a hurry yesterday, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Well I am one hundred percent okay, so like, if that’s all you wanted-”

Travie reaches an arm out, to stop the door that Gabe’s been ever-so slowly been trying to close. “Gabe, you are _not_ okay, now let me in or I’m going to break the door down.”

“Travie I’m _fine_ , what the hell makes you think I’m not?!”

Rolling his eyes, Travie doesn’t reply, and instead pushes the door the rest of the way open -fuck he’s strong- and gets himself inside. “I don’t think you’re okay because no one’s seen you in _months_ , and the one time you do come see anyone, you left after barely an hour. Something is wrong, and I want to know what.”

Gabe sighs, and looks around, avoiding Travie’s eyes helplessly. “It’s nothing okay? Everything is fine, and you’ve got nothing to worry about, okay?”

“Then why the hell _am_ I worried, Gabe?” Gabe’s jaw sets, and he finally makes eye contact with Travie.

“Because you’re making shit up? I have no idea. But there’s nothing to worry about. I. Am. Fine.”

Travie rolls his eyes again, and moves past Gabe and into the kitchen. Gabe follows him, for some reason feeling more nervous than he thinks he should.

“Travie what are you doing?” Travie doesn’t answer, and digs through the fridge, before stepping away with a can of cola in his hand.

“I'm making myself comfortable, because I ain't leaving until you answer me, truthfully. And that includes my next question: why the _fuck_ is there meat in your fridge? And milk? Cheese? What the hell?” 

Gabe shrugs, and avoids eye contact again, playing with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. 

“It’s nothing okay? Luke just thought-”

“Luke? Is that what this is all about? What did he do to you?” 

Gabe looks up, eyes wide. “ _Nothing_ , okay? He hasn’t done anything, and I don’t-”

“Really, Gabe? Nothing? That’s why you never leave the house anymore right?” Gabe just stares at him, obviously struggling to find something to say. “Or why when we do finally see you, you’re dressed in fucking Chicago clothes,” he gestures at Gabe’s outfit, “in the middle of an _LA_ summer? Why your face looks like you got attacked by a high school football team?”

When Gabe still doesn’t answer him, Travie sighs, and tiredly rubs his hand over his face. “Gabe, something is _wrong_ , but I-” he sets the can down, and moves forward, so he’s standing in front of Gabe. “I can’t help you unless you tell me what it is.”

Gabe huffs, a vague look of annoyance passing over his face briefly, before he opens his mouth. Travie has no idea what Gabe was going to say -probably another fucking denial- because then the front door is opening, and Luke is walking in.

When Luke catches sight of Travie, an unreadable expression passes over his face, but Travie doesn’t spend much time trying to decode it, because he’s more focused on the way Gabe has seemed to shrink into himself, and his arms have wrapped around his midsection. That should be his biggest concern, but then Luke walks over to Gabe and slides an arm across Gabe’s back, and Gabe _flinches_.

It’s then that Travie notices that Luke’s smiling at him, and he forcefully returns the smile. Luke seems to relax then, and Gabe along with him.

“Hey Travie, it’s been awhile, what brings you around?” Travie doesn’t reply for a minute, then he shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets.

“Ah not much, after Gabe got hit by that ball yesterday I just wanted to check up on him, and then we got to talking and the time got away from me.” Luke nods, and he smiles again as he looks at Gabe.

“Well that’s nice, Gabe hasn’t really wanted to go out much lately, so it’s nice you came to visit. I’d invite you to stay for dinner, but it’s been awhile since Gabe and I have been able to sit and just eat together y’know?” Travie looks at Gabe, trying to get him to _say something_ , because Travie can’t leave yet, Gabe can’t possibly want that.

But Gabe looks away from Travie, and nods, and Travie feels something inside him break.

“Yeah Trav, it’s-Luke’s been pretty busy lately so it’d be nice for us to have a nice quiet dinner alone, y’know?” Travie takes a deep breath, but nods slowly.

“Yeah. I suppose I better get going anyway, Stitch’ll be waiting for me.” Gabe lets out a genuine laugh, and Travie feels marginally better, though the feeling doesn’t last.

As soon as Travie’s gone, Gabe starts trying to slowly pull away from Luke, only to freeze when he feels Luke tense up.

“L-Luke? You okay?” Luke doesn’t reply, and Gabe exhales shakily, before trying to pull away again. “Luke, seriously are you alright?”

Luke clears his throat, then lets Gabe go, and turns to face him, then pushes Gabe against the counter, a dangerous look on his face. “Gabe, I’m going to ask you a question, and I’m going to ask you once, and you’re going to answer me truthfully. Do you understand?” Gabe nods, his hands shaking as he tries to push against the counter. “Good. Did you invite Travie over?” Gabe shakes his head immediately.

“N-No! He just came over a-and visited, okay? I wouldn’t do that to you, I promise!” Luke stares at him, before nodding, and releasing his hold on Gabe, and taking a step back.

“Okay. I believe you, now is there anything to eat?” Gabe doesn’t answer, and Luke clenches his jaw. “No? Are you fucking kidding me?” Gabe looks down at his feet, and still doesn’t answer, and Luke sighs. “What’s wrong baby?”

Shaking his head, Gabe goes to the fridge and opens it, starting to look through and find something to make. “N-Nothing Luke, I’m just-I d-didn’t sleep well last night.” Luke comes up behind Gabe, and shuts the fridge, so he can turn Gabe around and pull him into his chest.

“Is it because I made you sleep alone last night?”

Gabe buries his face in Luke’s neck, and tries to come up with an answer. Truthfully, he has no idea what’s wrong. Maybe it’s because he slept alone last night, but that’s happened before, and he’s never felt so...off. He decides not to think about it, and instead nods. Luke makes a soft humming noise, and pulls Gabe closer.

“I know baby, I know, but it was for a reason, you know that right?” Gabe hesitates, then nods again, deflating.

“Y-Yeah. I know.” He doesn’t, not really anymore, but he figures if maybe he pretends he does, the reasons will come back, and it won’t hurt as much.

That’s what he hopes, anyway.

\---

The rest of the night passes -thankfully- without incident, and the next day finds Gabe opening the door to Travie once again. He lets him in without a fight, and much to Gabe’s relief, Travie doesn’t try to question him again.

He invites Travie over again the next day, and then the next day, and then, it’s been a week since the first time Travie came over.

It’s wonderful, having someone to talk to again other than Luke, because as much as Gabe loves his boyfriend, he hates how _careful_ he has to be when he talks to him. He’s almost forgotten how easy it is to talk to Travie, and he almost wants to cry the first couple of times Travie leaves.

Still, Gabe always makes Travie leave before Luke can get home, so he doesn’t suspect anything. 

The next couple weeks continue like that, and Gabe’s feeling better than he has in _months_. He still lives with the knowledge that he’s hiding something from his _boyfriend_ , yet, he can’t find it in himself to feel very guilty.

Of course, lately, nothing works out for Gabe, so the day he forgets to clean up after himself and Travie, he should’ve been expecting it.

He’d had a _headache_ , and after Travie had left, he’d gone right to bed, and completely forgot about the multiple drinks on the table, as well as the extra plate. So when he’s woken up to a piercing pain at the back of his head, it takes all of five minutes for him to figure out what Luke is screaming about. Words like _slut, cheating_ , and _whore_ are all he can really make out, and then he’s finally _awake_ and all he has time to think is _oh shit_ , before he’s flipped over onto his front, and Luke’s still hitting him, but all Gabe can do is wonder what he could possibly have done to deserve this.

Gabe spaces in and out over the course of the next….however long it lasts, and everything is hazy at best. He can still somehow feel every hit to his chest, or his stomach, and once Luke realizes Gabe isn’t going to fight back against any of it, he hits his head too.

It’s more violent than anything Luke’s done to him before, and the last thing Gabe can remember thinking, is “ _thank god Travie isn’t here_ ”, before everything goes black.

\---

Travie doesn’t know why he’s so uneasy.

It’s 7PM, he’s let Stitch out to go to the bathroom, they’ve both eaten, his laundry is done, and that’s about all he has to feel anxious about at the moment.

He forces himself to sit down, and watch TV, and barely makes it five minutes before he’s got his phone out. He doesn’t particularly want to talk to anyone, but he scrolls through his recent texts, and decides he’ll text Gabe. It’s been a few hours since he was over at Gabe’s place, and Luke’s probably home by now, but hopefully Gabe answers.

Travie lets out an angry huff at the thought of Luke.

Ever since Gabe had started dating the bastard, _nothing_ had seemed right. At first, Travie had tried to chalk it up to jealousy, leftover from his stupid little crush on Gabe, and tried to look past it.

Then Gabe had quit talking to anyone, and the couple of times Travie had seen him since that happened, he’d seemed jumpy, and quiet, and not _Gabe_. It had unsettled Travie, so after the incident at the beach, he’d decided he couldn’t let this shit rest anymore.

Now, after spending every day with Gabe for the last couple weeks, he’s positive there’s something going on. Gabe always wears clothes that hide every possible inch of skin, and he flinches whenever Travie makes any sudden movements.

Travie Isn't an idiot, and he can put two and two together, but what he _can’t_ do, is force Gabe to leave Luke.

He sighs, and looks down at his phone, and realizes it’s been over ten minutes since he texted Gabe. If it had been any other time in the last few months, he would’ve shrugged it off, and considered it normal. Now though, after the last couple weeks, Gabe’s made sure to text Travie back as soon as possible, and that never extends any longer than five minutes if he can help it.

Those ten minutes, paired with Travie’s already building anxiousness, are what pushes Travie off the couch, and out the door. He’s praying as he drives, that Gabe’s just caught up with Luke, and forgot to text him back, but his phone is telling him Gabe hasn’t even _looked_ at his text, and when he pulls up to Gabe and Luke’s place, and sees that Luke’s car is gone, the dread Travie feels only gets worse.

When he reaches the front door, he knocks, and after five minutes of no answer, he tries the doorknob. It’s unlocked, and Travie has to close his eyes and breathe for a few seconds, because he doesn’t want to think about any _what if’s_.

He goes inside, and the first thing he sees is that the stuff from when he’d been over earlier is still set out. That is worrying in and of itself, because Gabe always makes sure it’s clean before Luke gets home.

When he goes into the living room and no one’s in there either, he goes to the bedroom, and when he opens the door, his heart almost stops.

Gabe’s lying on his front on the bed, and if it weren’t for the blood on his face, in his hair, and surrounding his head on the sheets, it’d look like he were sleeping.

The blankets have been ripped off the bed, and when Travie is at Gabe’s side, he can see the tears in the thin pajama shirt Gabe’s wearing, and he doesn’t even bother looking to see any of the other bruises he knows must be there. He checks Gabe’s arms, and legs, to make sure nothing’s broken, and then he lifts Gabe up, and carries him out of the house.

There’s no _fucking_ way he’s leaving Gabe there, because if Luke comes back, what will he do? Finish what he started? Travie has no intention of finding out, and he lays Gabe in the back of his car, before driving straight to the hospital.

\---

When Gabe wakes up, he’s surprised.

There’s a number of things he’s surprised about, but the most prominent one is that he’s _awake_. Especially after he tries to move, and pain jolts through him. Then there’s a shrill beeping filling the air, and he knows his heart rate has skyrocketed. Then there’s a gentle hand on his shoulder, a soft voice telling him to calm down - _calm down calm down_ \- and then he’s asleep again.

The next time he wakes up, he takes time to look around before he even attempts to move. He’s in a hospital room, with no idea how he got there, and right now, that’s all he wants to know. He doesn’t have to wait long for an answer, because then there’s a nurse entering the room. When she sees Gabe, she smiles and walks over to the bed.

“Are you feeling alright? Not going to try and get up again are you?” Gabe goes to shake his head, but when that hurts to much, decides he’ll have to speak.

“I’m fine but. How did-how did I get here?” The nurse smiles kindly at him.

“Well, what do you remember?”

Gabe swallows, and shakes his head again, this time wincing. “Nothing good.”

The nurse looks sympathetic, then fixes his blankets, before righting herself. “I’ll let your doctor explain everything to you, alright?”

It’s not alright, Gabe wants to know what happened _now_ , but he mumbles out a _yes_ , the nurse leaves, and he’s alone again.

For some reason, being alone now is nowhere near as bad as when Luke would leave him alone. Now it’s slightly annoying, but he doesn’t feel as empty, and that’s a relief.

When the doctor finally comes, Gabe is almost asleep again, though jolts awake as soon as he sees him enter the room. The doctor smiles at him, the second kind smile Gabe’s received in less than an hour, and proceeds to go through all of Gabe’s injuries.

It takes a while -longer than Gabe had thought it would take- and when the doctor is done, he sighs.

“So, this is the part where I ask you what happened.” Gabe opens his mouth, and the doctor holds his hand up. “Before you answer, I want you to know that you were a couple injuries away from being in a coma, or even dying, and if this happens again, the chances of you waking up again are very slim. The only reason you aren’t in worse shape is because you were brought in soon enough. Think about that.” Gabe inhales shakily, and looking down at his hands, realizes he’s picking at his nails. When he looks up at the doctor again, it’s brief, and then he looks away again.

“My-my boyfriend.” Gabe sees the doctor nod from the corner of his eye, and he begins writing something down on his notepad.

“You boyfriend did this to you?” Gabe nods, looking down again and closing his eyes. He gets out a quiet confirmation, and the doctor nods again. “What’s your boyfriend’s name?” 

Gabe answers, and after he has, the doctor thanks him, then tells him he’ll be sending a couple nurses in to check his injuries, and leaves.

When the nurses have finished, and have set something to eat on the little portable table in front of him, the one still in the room tells him there’s a man waiting downstairs to see him. When Gabe tenses up, she reassures him they won’t let him in unless Gabe wants them to. Gabe nods.

“What’s his name?”

“He said his name is Travis?” Gabe sags in relief, and nods.

“Let him in _please_.” She nods, then leaves the room, and a few minutes later, Travie is in the room. When he sees Gabe, sitting up and eating, he smiles softly, and goes to sit in the chair sitting next to the bed.

Gabe smiles back cautiously. “Hey.”

“How are you feeling?”

Gabe shrugs. “I’m fine, or, I will be, y’know?” They both go silent for a few minutes, then Gabe speaks again. “Did you bring me here?”

Travie nods. “Yeah, but I don’t know what the _hell_ happened. Care to explain?” Gabe swallows, and shrugs.

“I went to bed before cleaning up after you left, and. Yeah.”

“And what? Your boyfriend almost _killed you_ because of some leftover _plates_?”

Gabe curls in on himself, and shakes his head. “No he just-I don’t know _why_ but he just-he doesn’t like you and-and he seen that someone had been over, and there’s no one else it would have been so he-” Gabe doesn’t realize he’s hyperventilating, until Travie’s kneeling next to him on the bed, and grabbing his hand comfortingly.

“Hey hey, Gabe it’s okay, just calm down. You’re okay now, I’m sorry I upset you, you’re alright.” It takes a few minutes, but finally, Gabe’s breathing has steadied again, and he realizes he’s got Travie’s hand in a vice-like grip. He winces, and lets Travie’s hand go, mumbling a quiet apology. Travie just shakes his head, and keeps a grip on Gabe’s hand, rubbing his thumb in slow circles on the back.

After a while, Travie moves the chair over so he can sit next to Gabe, and they stay like that, just talking about anything other than the current situation, until a nurse comes in and tells them visiting hours are over. When Travie gets up reluctantly to leave, he leans over and gives Gabe a soft kiss to the forehead.

When Travie’s left, Gabe cries softly to himself, because that kiss was so _soft_ and _kind_ , that Gabe can’t believe he ever thought Luke’s were ever anything but cruel.

\---

When Gabe gets out of the hospital, Travie offers to let him stay with him. He’s afraid that Gabe will decline, that he’ll insist on going back to Luke, but much to his relief, Gabe agrees, and Gabe moves in.

Gabe doesn’t want to go back to get any of his things, so Travie goes at a time when Gabe knows Luke won’t be home -it disgust Travie, how Luke is still going about his normal life like he hasn’t just tried to murder his boyfriend- and gets the things he thinks Gabe will need.

After that, it’s a slow, long road to recovery, but Travie’s in it for the long haul, so he’s fully prepared.

When he finds out Gabe fully plans on pressing charges against Luke, he almost kisses him, but instead just pulls him into a hug and holds him while he cries.

When Gabe’s finally up to it, they finally start seeing their friends again, and Travie thinks that does more for Gabe than anything else. The only problem, is when, after they’ve seen Gabe a few times, and there’s been no mention of Luke, the questions start. Gabe does what he does best, and acts. Says they broke up, but it’s fine.

Everyone believes him, but then come the jabs.

“Did he leave you because you wanted to party?”

“Too immature for a real relationship Gabey?”

“Didn’t want to be tied down by an _adult_ huh Gabanti?”

They’re all meant to be funny, and Travie _knows_ that. What he also knows, is that it’s exhausting Gabe, having to laugh them all off. That’s made abundantly clear one night when Gabe finds his way to Travie’s bed, sobs wracking his body, and asks if he thinks Luke would have left him if he hadn’t hurt him.

That’s enough for Travie, so the next day, he pulls aside everyone who matters -Pete, William, the rest of Cobra- and tells them to lay off. He didn’t exactly plan on telling them what all went down, but after a few minutes of ‘it’s just good natured fun Trav’, he can’t not tell them.

They’re all shocked. Pete has to sit down, right in the middle of the floor; William and Nate both go quiet in shock, before William has to go to the bathroom to puke. Victoria cries, and Ryland and Alex both start yelling about finding the son of a bitch and doing to him what he almost did to _their Gabe_ , until Travie tells them all he’s in jail.

They all swear to stop anyone else who tries to make fun of Gabe anymore, without telling them why, and Travie’s relieved that none of them treat Gabe any different. Gabe doesn’t want anyone to know, Travie supposes he’s embarrassed and ashamed, as much as that pains Travie to think about.

Gabe has his bad days, and Travie makes sure to be there for him during those, but for the most part, Gabe is healing, because he’s a strong motherfucker, and Travie knows he’ll be alright.

\---

After he finally gets out of the hospital, Gabe goes to live with Travie, and after the longest several weeks of Gabe’s life, Luke goes to jail.

It’s one of the hardest things Gabe’s ever had to do, because as much as he hates Luke for hurting him, he still has a hard time connecting the Luke in his head with the Luke who hit and yelled and bruised.

He did it though, and now he’s living with Travie, and slowly healing. The bruises are all gone, most of the cuts have healed over, and thankfully, only a couple injuries have scarred.

Also thankfully, Travie didn’t tell anyone what had happened, so there are no pitying looks, or any of that bullshit. Gabe’s grateful, in more ways than one.

Travie’s there for him when there are nightmares, he’s there when something reminds him too much of Luke, and he’s there when one of his friends makes a comment about Luke and Gabe’s breakup. He knows if they knew, they wouldn’t say anything, but the comments die down after a few months anyway, so he doesn’t feel the need to say anything.

So life gets better. Nothing’s great yet, and Gabe knows he’s not quite _Gabe_ yet, but he’s getting there, and that’s all that matters.


End file.
